Hi, I'm Mommy! *cough* I mean, Kristin...

I came to the realization that my identity as an individual is slipping away some time ago already.  What I hadn't done, until now, was make the decision to do everything in my power to get it back.  I'm sure as parents most of us go through something like this, at some point.  You have your children, and then of course your life revolves around them.  It's completely natural (I hope!) to find yourself wandering around the house at 2am, humming the theme song to Backyardigans while warming up a bottle or changing your child's wet bed sheets.  

Remember when you were out with friends at 2am instead?  Maybe you were at a club enjoying a few martinis, or watching movies on your best friend's couch, or sitting at an all hours restaurant indulging in a grilled cheese sandwich with a side of french fries and honey mustard and a tall glass of Kool-Aid because you knew the kitchen staff?  *sigh*  I vaguely recall those days.  I'm not saying I want them back -- I can hardly make it to 11:30pm without completely crashing.  And I really have no interest in city nightlife at 2am.  The single 20 year olds can have that... It's their time and space.  But what I do miss is the fact that back then, I knew what I loved to do, what I wanted to be and where I was planning to go.  I knew then that after University and joining the workforce for a while, I'd eventually want to start a family, maybe run a daycare out of my home so I could be with my kids and enjoy every moment of raising them.

Mission accomplished.

So... Now what?  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've become, simply, Mommy.  I'm certainly not complaining.  I absolutely LOVE being a Mom and raising my kids.  But somewhere along the way I've lost sight of what I want to do when the kids grow up, start going to school and I'm left at home with...What, exactly?  Myself, I guess?  There are so many reasons that will never do.  So I've taken it upon myself to start thinking long and hard about it.  My daughter D is four years old now.  She'll be starting Kindergarten next fall, and my son has just 4 years to go before he'll be off to school himself.  What can I accomplish in 4 years?  A lot.  An awful lot.  Maybe I want to go back to school in that time, and find something new and wonderful to do when my children need just a little bit less of me.  Or maybe I want to work with the skills I've got, to carve myself out a fantastic career doing what I love.

Recently, I've found myself downloading music that isn't for kids under the age of 10 again, building my wardrobe to include outfits that are not made of cotton jersey and/or meant for doing Yoga in, and reading more books that don't begin with the words "Once Upon a Time."  It feels pretty good.  If you're not doing these things yourself, if you're like me and finding yourself lost in a world of A,B,Cs and 1,2,3s, I would encourage you to do the same.  I'm in it for the long haul now.  And you know what?  I truly believe my family will be better off for it, because setting the example of being a well rounded and confident individual for your children is always a positive thing.

Am I right?  Who's with me?  Do you ever feel like you've lost sight of who you are since becoming a parent?